December 31, 1997

Dear Editor... While surfing the web, I accidentally landed upon your pitiful excuse for a home page.  In my humble opinion, The BrownePages is pure trash and you sir are a poor excuse for a writer, publisher, family man and above all... comedian. 

Making fun of your family the way  you do is an abomination and is an insult to all that is good and pure.  For it is people like yourself that has brought about all the moral decay decadence in this great land of ours.  Praise The Lord!
Signed: Jim Bakker, Who The Hell Cares, USA 
BigSpender@HeritageUSA.com

Dear Jimmy...

Blow it out your ass you pompous prick.   Jail was too good for you.  Besides, your old cell mates gave me the low down on you.  It seemed that you were always volunteering to pick up the soap every time somebody dropped it.  Bakker, you are a sick little pervert.  If I were the judge, I would have kept you out of jail and forced you to have sex with that ugly scumbag porker of a wife - twice a day, seven days a week.   That way, you would have received the same thing your poor victims got - SCREWED.  

Praise The Lord and Happy New Year...