Jaws Puts Bite On Winnie...
Oxford, England - What can only be described as a freak accident occurred in the wee hours of the morning on June 20th. at the home of Mr. Clive Pennywhistle and his wife Winifred. 

While being transported from Queens Aquarium in Thistleford Downes to the National Marine Infirmary just outside New Botley, a live, 32 foot Great White shark slipped from its airborne harness and came crashing through the bedroom ceiling of Pennywhistle's South Oxfordshire flat.

Pennywhistle faired quite well throughout the mishap however Mrs. Pennywhistle was not as fortunate.  The shark suddenly awoke from its medically induced coma just as it crashed through the Pennywhistle ceiling.  It proceeded to dine on a rather rotund Mrs. Pennywhistle.

Investigators at the scene determined that the female Pennywhistle did not suffer through the horrendous ordeal.

Chief Forensic Inspector, Oliver Linton-Smyth-Hall theorizes that the deceased Mrs. Pennywhistle was most-likely "scared bloody shitless" at the time of  the unfortunate incident and therefore was "not in any major discomfort" as the shark ingested her head.

Jaws scares shit out of the Entwhistles
Click on pictures to enlarge
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Residents of this "shark-free", South Oxford neighbourhood, were appalled at Aquarium authorities. "We knew it was just a matter of time until something like this happened," muttered Deborah Terry.
Deborah Terry - anti shark activist Terry, a long time neighbor and anti-shark crusader, has been fighting local authorities for over a year to put an end to these dangerous fish flights.  "The only fish we want in our town," cries Ms. Terry, "is the kind served with chips and vinegar." Per Inspector Linton-Smyth-Hall, "The incident is currently under investigation.  Shark flights have been suspended for the time being until a complete analysis has been conducted.  As for now, these over-flights will be limited to non-carnivores fish."

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